Get Hard movie quotes bring the laughs that come when one businessman hires his only black friend to prepare him for a prison sentence. The comedy film was directed by Etan Cohen using a screenplay by Jay Martel and Ian Roberts. Get Hard opened in theaters on March 27, 2015.
In Get Hard, wealthy businessman James King (Will Ferrell) seems to have it all in life. He has a huge house and beautiful wife (Alison Brie), but that all changes when the FBI arrives to arrest him on charges of fraud and embezzlement. While James proclaims his innocence, a judge sentences him to 10 years at a maximum security facility.
James knows prison will be a culture shock so he hires the only black guy he knows, Darnell (Kevin Hart), to prepare him. While Darnell has never really been to prison, he takes the job and the two embark on prison school. But can a rich businessman get hard from this never-incarcerated family man and learn enough to get him through this sentence? The jury is still out on that one.
Get Hard opens alongside a bunch of other fantastic movies such as Insurgent, Cinderella (2015), The Gunman, Run All Night, Unfinished Business.
Get Hard Movie Quotes,
I Was Being Black
Rita: What reason did you give him to assume that you went to prison?
Darnell: I was being black.
Rita: You're not exactly a thug, Darnell.
Darnell: All I gotta do is talk a little deeper.
Rita: I'm going to say goodnight.
Darnell: Bitch, don't walk away from me!
Rita: What in the hell did you just say to me?
Darnell: Stop! Stop! What is that?
When Darnell explains to wife Rita what he's been hired to do, Rita cannot believe that Darnell would be anyone to teach a rich businessman about prison. But in a moment, Darnell turns the tables and acts like the stereotypical gangster, a move that Rita hands right back to him.
Teach Me to Survive in Prison
James: My life is ruined cause after 30 days I'm going to prison. It's not as bad as I've heard, is it?
Darnell: Hell yeah, it's bad.
James: Teach me how to survive in prison the way you did.
Darnell: Tell me how you know I went to prison.
James: Given your low economic status...
Darnell: Wait, what?
James: Your perceived lack of college education...
Darnell: Lack of... Okay
James: Statistically, you definitely went to prison.
Darnell: Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, convict.
James enlists the only black guy he knows, Darnell, to help him prepare for prison. He doesn't for a moment consider that Darnell has not been to prison but Darnell doesn't turn down an easy buck to make that fact known either.
Short for Mayonnaise
Joaquin: We gotta roll, Mayo.
Darnell: Who's Mayo?
James: It's my gang name. It's short for Mayonnaise.
James introduces his gang name to Darnell and even explains its origin. Considering the name comes from the word Mayonnaise, Darnell is not impressed.
We Are About to Simulate a Prison Riot
Darnell: We do this, we do it hard!
James: I can get hard!
...
Darnell: As your incarceration expert, it is my job to prepare you.
...
Darnell: We are about to simulate a prison riot.
...
Darnell: That was intense, right?
James: Actually, I feel fine.
Darnell: Oh!
James: What?
In another exercise to prepare James for prison, Darnell simulates a prison riot. James feels he handles the test well, at least until he realizes that he has a metal spoon sticking out of his skull.
This is San Quentin Now
Darnell: This ain't no longer your house, man. This is San Quentin now.
...
Darnell: We're going to roll part of the yard, white boy... [in a Latino accent] You lost, esse?
James: I'm very confused.
Darnell: Then go back where you belong!
James: I don't know where I belong.
Darnell: I know where you belong. You belong with me.
James: I don't want that.
Darnell and James do an exercise where Darnell acts as various stereotypical ethnic types and bullies him in a prison yard. James is clearly confused, especially when Darnell hits on him.
Let Me See Your Mad Dog Face
Darnell: This is my prison-readiness program. You master these skills, you will survive in prison.
...
Darnell: Let me see what your mad dog face look like.
James: What is a mad dog face?
Darnell: You're a mad dog! Like a pit bull with no leash! Hah! ... What are you doing, James?
James: Sad-dogging you, you think that's a strategy that could work? Please don't sexually assault me, I'm already too sad.
Darnell urges James to practice his mad dog face to strengthen his prison defensive skills. Instead, James shows a sad dog face and pleads for mercy.
Prison School Is in Session
James: Hello?
Darnell: You ready, white boy? Pepper spay, bitch! Prison school is in session!
James: I'm learning so much. This is exactly what I need.
The first day of prison school is a rough one for James and it begins with pepper spray right to the face. He takes it in stride, thanking Darnell for this tough lesson.
10 Years in a Maximum Security Prison
FBI Agent: James King?
James: Yes
FBI Agent: You're under arrest for fraud and embezzlement.
...
James: I have faith that the justice system will exonerate me.
...
Judge: I've sentenced you to 10 years in a maximum security prison.
James: Did he say 10 years?
After the FBI arrive at his door, James learns that he's being arrested for a handful of charges, ones that he swears are untrue. At first, James thinks all will work out, that he will be exonerated, but when the judge sentences him to 10 years in prison, the freak out commences.
I Would Have Done the Same Thing if You Were White
Darnell: This is Mr. King's car. The man owns the building. At least we can get his car right.
...
James: Oh! I have almost no cash... just $9,000.
Darnell: Man, I've got your keys.
James: Just so you know, I would have done the same thing if you were white.
Darnell: That's good to know.
While it's unclear how James truly feels about various races, it's pretty clear that Darnell is a hard worker who wants to impress his boss. Little does Darnell know just how much James will soon learn from him.
Looking to Join the Crenshaw Kings
James: Hello!
Gang Member: Who the hell are you?
James: I don't think they've ever seen a white person before.
Darnell: Trust me, that is not the problem.
...
James: I am looking to join the Crenshaw Kings.
Joaquin: Are you?
Darnell: He just wants you to protect him while he's on the inside.
Joaquin: Mr. I'm too good for the hood, I'll bounce you off this front porch sideways.
James: I'm sorry. I didn't understand a word you said.
James and Darnell head to Crenshaw in an effort to get James into a gang to secure protection in prison. From James' ridiculous outfit to his lack of understanding of the completely English words Joaquin says, the meeting does not go too well.