'What to Expect When You're Expecting' movie quotes are hilarious. They include the very best lines from this 2012 romantic comedy based on the wildly popular pregnancy book of the same name. 'What to Expect' features an all-star cast, including Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Matthew Morrison, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Chace Crawford, Rodrigo Santoro and Dennis Quaid. See a favorite quote from 'What To Expect When You're Expecting'? Vote it up! And, if your personal favorite lines from the movie aren't listed, add them.
'What to Expect When You're Expecting' follows the journeys of five couples who are each dealing with impending parenthood. Several of the couples are pregnant, and one is in the process of adopting. Each couple deals with their own issues surrounding pregnancy. When one of the future fathers, Alex, decides he needs a little more info about the job, he joins up with the Dudes Group: a group of dads (Chris Rock, Thomas Lennon, Ben Falcone, Rob Huebel and Amir Talai) who've formed a special alliance. 'What to Expect' is directed by Kirk Jones ('Waking Ned Devine,' 'Nanny McPhee').
If you're looking for more excellent movie quotes, check out these pages for the most memorable lines from 'The Five-Year Engagement,' 'Dark Shadows,' 'LOL,' 'American Reunion,' 'This Means War,' 'The Lucky One,' 'The Vow,' 'Wanderlust,' 'The Hunger Games,' 'Friends With Benefits,' 'New Year's Eve,' 'Crazy, Stupid, Love' and 'Bridesmaids.'
What to Expect When You're Expecting Movie Quotes,
Gorgeous Rack
Jules: "If I knew I'd have a rack like this gorgeous, I would've gotten knocked up years ago."
Julex Baxter is a TV star who decides to go on a celebrity dance show. She and her partner on the show, Evan (Matthew Morrison), get pregnant. Jules is worried that the baby will ruin her career, though she finds great joy in one of the (often wonderful) pregnancy signs: much fuller breasts.
Pregnancy Unicorn
Wendy (looks at gorgeous pregnant woman): "Look at her, she's wearing six-inch heels..."
Janice: "She's like a magical pregnancy unicorn."
Oh, Mythical Pregnancy Unicorn, why must you torture normal pregnant women everywhere? There's always one: that incredible pregnant woman who manages to gain very little weight and look positively stunning (the 'glow') for nine months. Skyler (Brooklyn Decker) is such a creature. She'll sneeze during labor and push that little baby right out without any issues whatsoever, and then she'll immediately strap on her Louboutins and go about her merry way.
Get Me the Juice
Wendy: "I want the epidural."
Gary: "You said you didn't want it and you said that even if you did ask for it, that that would just be the crazy talking..."
Wendy (slaps Gary): "Gary! Get me the juice!"
Ah yes, the "I'm against epidurals and can do this all naturally" bit. How many women have said just that, until the first really big contractions hit? Take the juice before the window of opportunity closes.
Pregnancy Sucks
Wendy: "I just wanted the glow -- the one that they promise you on the cover of those magazines. Well, I'm calling it: Pregnancy sucks! Making a human being is really hard, I have no control over my body or my emotions. Gar-bear, I'm sorry, all I want to do is punch you in the face..."
Wendy (Elizabeth Banks) is the author of The Breast Choice boutique, and she's got some really strong opinions about motherhood. When she becomes pregnant, however, she begins to rethink some of her ideas. The hormones are raging out of control and "Gar-bear" ought to be careful...
Stuff Just Happens, Okay?
Alex: "You dropped your kid off a changing table?!"
Gabe: "Stuff just happens, okay? Last week, my kid ate a cigarette."
Craig: "I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday."
Patel: "I picked up the wrong baby from daycare."
Gabe: "I found my baby swimming in the toilet. No judging."
Welcome to the Dudes Group, Alex. First rule: No judging. These guys are serious about this rule, too. They take pride in their child care skills as fathers, but they make mistakes. Those mistakes? They stay in Dudes Group. Forever.
He Loves Purple Rain
Holly: "So, does that mean you like us?"
Adoption Agency Official: "I don't see any red flags. But, you need to baby proof if you're going to stay here. Oh, do you have a wedding photo? The Ethiopian authorities really like to see that in the packets."
Alex: "Yeah we do. Of course we do."
Holly: "No, we don't."
Alex: "Where is it?" (pulls photo from under the couch cushion) "Here, Vegas. It was a costume party. I was Prince, Holly was a show girl."
Holly: "He loves Purple Rain."
Adoption Agency Official: "You know what? Why don't we just say it got burned in a fire."
Holly: "Good one. Thank you."
Dear Holly and Alex: Welcome to the wonderful world of home study. The adoption agency official (yes, that's Kim Fields, aka Tootie from 'The Facts of Life') understandably wants some photos to put in the couple's file. That's always a good idea, unless it's not. When you get hitched in Vegas dressed like Prince and a show girl, always pretend the photo was lost in a fire. Tootie knows best.
Moving Train
Vic: "There's no such thing as ready. You just jump on a moving train and you try not to die."
This might just be the best line in 'What To Expect,' spoken by a dad who obviously knows. Parenting is tough, and there's no absolutely perfect manual to guide you through every problem/issue. Sometimes you just have to jump on and do your best to keep the ride smooth.
Welcome to Escrow
Alex: "I look at houses with Holly, but we're not buying one."
Vic: "Bro, bro, when your wife says you're just looking at houses, you're buying a house.
Alex: "No I'm not."
Vic: "Oh yes you are."
Alex: "I'm not buying a house."
Vic: "Oh, check your receipts."
Gabe: "Welcome to escrow, b*tch!"
Alex's decision to hang out with the Dudes Group proves to be a very educational experience. He and Holly are trying to adopt, but they aren't buying a new house -- yeah, right. Vic is correct -- Alex is totally getting a house.
Where Happiness Goes to Die
Vic (to Alex): "You don't have a kid yet. You're still on the other side."
Craig: "Stay on that side Alex. This is the side where happiness goes to die."
Craig (the Dude who found his kid playing in the dryer) issues a dire warning to Alex about becoming a parent. Maybe it's not such a good thing that he spends time with fathers before he and Holly adopt...