Looking for some of the best 'Horrible Bosses' movie quotes? Here's your list! Feel free to vote for your favorite 'Horrible Bosses' quotes - and to add your own. And if you missed this movie in the theater, no worries: The 'Horrible Bosses' DVD was set for release on October 11, 2011!
This 2011 comedy features an all-star cast led by the hilarious Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day. Each of these men work for terrible bosses, played with equal hilarity by Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Aniston and Colin Farrell. What can Nick, Kurt and Dale do about their no-good employers? Together, come up with a plan: Hire a hit man to take each boss out. As one might expect, things don't go very smoothly.
Not surprisingly, 'Horrible Bosses' did pretty well at the summer box office. The movie took in more than $28 million during it's opening weekend and, as of early-September 2011, had raked in more than $115 million in ticket sales in the U.S.
If you're in need of more funny, check out these movie quote pages from 'Bridesmaids', 'Hangover Part 2,' 'Larry Crowne,' 'Bad Teacher', 'The Change-Up,' '30 Minutes or Less' and 'Friends With Benefits!'
http://www.ranker.com/list/horrible-bosses-quotes/movie-and-tv-quotes,
Meet Mother F**ker
Dean 'MF' Jones: "I think I can help you boys."
Kurt: "Are you a businessman?"
Dean 'MF' Jones: "Mother F**ker Jones."
Dale: "Your first name is 'Mother F**ker'?"
Dean 'MF' Jones: "My real name is Dean."
Nick: "Dean Jones. That's the same name of the actor in 'Herbie and the Love Bug.'"
Dean 'MF' Jones: "I know who he is bitch. I can't walk around this f**kin neighborhood with that Disney-ass name."
Jamie Foxx, as MF Jones, doesn't pull any punches with the guys. He also has serious issues with his name.
In a Prius?
Detective: "You wanna explain why you were speeding?"
Nick: "I was drag racing."
Detective: "In a Prius?"
Nick: "I don't win a lot."
These guys can't catch a break - all the want to do is commit three murders! Why bust their chops for drag racing (in a Prius)?!
Four Honks
Nick: "You're gonna be our lookout."
Dale: "I'm gonna honk the horn six times."
Kurt: "Something much more subtle..."
Dale: "Four honks?"
Nick: "Can you honk once?"
Dale: "People honk once all the time - you're gonna be running in and out of the house..."
That's Rape!
Dale: (Looking at sexually explicit photos of himself with Julia) "We did all of this while I was unconscious?"
Julia: "Mmmhmm. Yep."
Dale: "You're a raper, you raped me, that's a rape!"
Julia: "Just relax there, Jodie Foster. Your dick wasn't even hard."
Dale: "That does not give me any relief."
Julia is a monster. No question. A totally hot, sick, twisted, nymphomaniac monster.
Fire Professor Xavier
Bobby: "You can fire Professor Xavier."
Kurt: "You mean Hank."
Bobby: "Creeps me out, rolling around all day in his special little secret chair."
Kurt's boss, Bobby (Colin Farrell), is definitely horrible. He's asking Kurt to fire all the employees that bother him, including poor, wheelchair-bound Hank.
Trim Some Fat
Bobby: "Oh yeah, we've got to trim some of the fat around here."
Kurt: "What do you mean by trim the fat?"
Bobby: "I want you to fire the fat people."
Kurt: "What?!"
Bobby: "They're lazy and they're slow and they make me sad to look at."
Yes, Bobby qualifies as a bad, bad boss. Not surprising that Kurt's plotting his demise.
Don't Punch the Driver
Kurt: "You don't f*cking punch the driver!"
Nick: "Yeah, you don't punch the driver, man."
Dale: "I'm coked out of my f*cking head, I can punch whoever I want to!"
Goodbye, Gam-Gam
Nick: "You know that last month you made me work so late that I missed saying goodbye to my Gam-Gam?"
Dave: "I'm sorry, what?"
Nick: "My grandmother. I told you that I needed to see her because she was very, very sick. You said if I left early I'd get fired - and she died before I made it to the hospital."
Dave: "I'm sorry."
Nick: "Thank you."
Dave: "I had no idea that you called your grandmother 'Gam-Gam.' (laughing hysterically) "Sorry. Sorry that you didn't get to say bye-bye to Gam-Gam..."
Kevin Spacey's horrible boss, Dave, will likely resonate with many who've been stuck in a bad job with no nope of getting out. Here's hoping he gets what's coming to him. For Gam-Gam!!
A Little Snack
Kurt: "Your boss is incredibly hot."
Dale: "Don't talk about how hot she is."
Kurt: "I was looking at your boss. She makes herself a little snack. A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order - that's not a proper meal."
Nick: "It's cold to hot."
Dale: "So you took the penis foods as an invitation to f**k her?"
Kurt: "No, I took her invitation to f**k her, as an invitation to f**k her!"
The guys decide to stake out each others bosses, to figure out their habits. Kurt gets Julia - and her habit is simple: sex.
Wet Work
Dale: "Your ad said you do wet work?"
Not the Hit Man: "I urinate on other men for money. Why else do you think my ad was in a 'Men Seeking Men' section."
(argument breaks out between Nick, Dale and Kurt)
Dale: "We are men, looking for a man!"
So. You hire your very first hit man to whack your bosses - great! Now the bad news: He's going to pee on you, not kill your employer.